Hello and welcome!
Hello and welcome!
My name is Robbie. I’m a middle-aged woman (there – I’ve admitted it) who, after a lifetime of believing that the only way to survive in this perplexing world was to become comfortably numb (thank you Pink Floyd), has finally decided to place a boot in the appropriate place and make a stab at really living.
Like most of us, I’ve had my share of ups and downs. In recent years, there had been a lot more of the latter. The world, and the people in it, became too much for me; I backed off. I stopped seeing beauty in the world. I could see no point in anything and my oft-suffered periods of dissociation and anxiety began to merge into one.
Writing this blog is part of my attempt to re-engage, part of my recovery from a position of isolated, star-gazing slothery (and I don’t care if that isn’t a word – it jolly well ought to be) to one of, well…who knows? It could take a while; at the moment I struggle to leave the house.
I know that there are others out there just like me, people with similar experiences, hopes and fears. I hope that we can connect. I hope that I will learn from you. Being here is a twofold thing – to help myself of course, but also to move in the direction of being able to help others.
I may talk about dealing with my anxiety disorder, perhaps sharing some of my background. The wildlife and nature around my home (Aberdeenshire) are likely to feature. I’m particularly interested in creativity, in all its forms, and its relationship with, and impact upon, our mental health. I’ve recently been able to focus on creative writing again, so I may even share some of that. One thing is certain: there could well be a great deal of complaining or a few mad ramblings. I won’t apologise – we all spend too much time hiding and I have realised that the only way I will find peace of mind is to give myself permission to be me.
I hope that you will join me as I document my progress. Please feel free to comment, or offer advice, particularly when I’m in a seriously flapping mood and need the calming influence of being told: ‘Get a grip!’
At some point down the line, when I’ve become less of an island, it would be nice to be able to say of this blog, ‘Well no actually, it really isn’t all about me.’